My being after her makes practically no difference! (3)

I believe the answer is:

mum

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'difference' is the definition.
The answer and definition can be both human attributes as well as being singular nouns.
Perhaps you can see an association between them that I don't see?

I don't understand the rest of the clue.

Can you help me to learn more?

(Other definitions for mum that I've seen before include "Keep quiet, mother" , "Mother (colloq.)" , "Keep it secret from mother?" , "Parent - shtoom" , "Silence" .)

I've seen this clue in the Evening Standard.

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